wtf is netmon?

Netmon is a self-hosted network monitoring bot that runs on your local machine or a Raspberry Pi. Every hour it runs a speed test on your internet connection, scans your local network to count how many devices are online, and saves all of that information to a small local database. Every four hours it sends a more detailed report to Telegram, complete with a graph showing the last 24 hours of activity and a sarcastic AI-written commentary about how your network is performing. The project is built in Python and designed to keep everything private. No data gets sent to external metric services. Only the text reports and graph images are delivered to your Telegram chat. The speed tests use a tool called speedtest-cli, and the device scanning uses nmap, a standard network utility. The AI commentary comes from an OpenAI-compatible language model, which means you can use OpenAI's cloud service or run a local model on your own hardware. Setting it up requires a few system-level dependencies. You need nmap and speedtest-cli installed on your machine, and nmap needs special permission to run without a password prompt since it scans the network at a low level. The project uses a Python tool called uv to manage its environment and dependencies, which handles downloading the right Python version and installing locked library versions automatically. You fill in a configuration file with your Telegram bot token, your chat ID, and your AI provider details, then run a single command to start the bot. The README is thorough, covering installation on macOS and Linux, the one-time sudo configuration for nmap, and tips for running the bot in the background with tools like tmux or as a system service. It also includes example output showing what the hourly status updates and four-hour reports look like. Windows is not supported. The project structure section was cut off in the provided documentation. The full README is longer than what was shown.